The place was really disgusting. There were crumbs everywhere and there was this awful, thick film of greasy lard all over the countertop.

Two waitresses came over to take my order. A real waitress and a waitress-in-training. They sort of smeared the goo around on the counter with a filthy rag as I swept as many crumbs off the chair as possible. I sat down again.

They gave me a menu that had about 300 choices on it, all of them absolutely awful. Everything seemed to be almost pure cholesterol. I kept scanning the menu for ANYTHING I could stand to eat. The waitresses got very impatient. I finally realized the entrees printed in green were their light dishes - but even these we loaded with lard. So I asked if I could have some grapefruit or some pineapple and that made the waitresses go away but they ever brought me anything to eat. Just as well. Things were about to get worse...

I got up and left. I met a guy outside, a dermatologist, and we seemed to hit it off but he couldn't talk for long because he had left his electric blanket on. I tried to write him a note so we could stay in touch, but I couldn't find a business card to give him. I found a scrap of paper and I wrote my number on it but it was the wrong number so I scratched it off and wrote another number but it was wrong and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't write the right number down. To be exact, I was writing the number correctly but it was changing. Finally there was no more room left on the paper, and he was really anxious to turn off his blanket so we parted.

Frustrated, I got into my car. The 61 Galaxie of course. I was in a old Wild West town. There was a lot of construction going on. A huge hole had been excavated, and all of the soft dirt had been piled up into a mountain. I drove up on the mountain. There was a 6 inch wide Grand Canyon crack in the mountain. I made a special note to not drive into the crack, but of course I did. I was stuck, seriously.